Gettin’ Figgy Wit It … aka No Gluten Newtons

Guess what??? It’s fig season!!! When I think of figs I automatically think of Fig Newtons. Clearly, I don’t eat Newtons no mo since they have wheat, high fructose corn syrup and milk, making them your vegan girlfriend’s worst nightmare. Those little Newton’s are also not very satisfying per single serving, so imitating a Newton to the t was not exactly my goal. I wanted to make a fig bar that was substantial and healthful enough to eat for breakfast but also left me singing “Arielle stole the cookie from the cookie jar.”  And so it was….. my recipe is free of wheat, refined sugar, oil and of course it’s 100% vegan! These now coined No Gluten Newtons are insanely, ridiculously, I dare you not to eat the whole pan, delicious. Dem bars be flaky, sweet and make the perfect breakfast or anytime treat.  I’m officially gettin’ figgy with it, (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah nah nah) …. chomp!


Gettin’ Figgy Wit It Bars (aka No Gluten Newtons)

(serves 16)

(adapted from Susan’s recipe at Fat Free Vegan)


  • 1 round package of dried figs (8 oz)
  • 5 medjool dates
  • 2 tablespoons chopped almonds
  • 2 tablespoons dark agave nectar
  • 2 tablespoons water
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger


  • 1 cup rolled oats, ground in your vitamix or processor until flour
  • 1 cup rolled oats
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
  • scant 1/4 cup dark agave nectar
  • 1/4 cup So Delicious Coconut Milk
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract


Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

For the filling:

Cut off the figs’ stems, and put the figs, dates, and almonds into your Vitamix or food processor.

Blend until well combined and a coarse paste is formed.

Stir in the remaining filling ingredients and process until mixed. Set aside.

For the crust:

Combine the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl.

Stir in the wet ingredients, mixing well to a thick consistency.

Press half the crust mixture into the bottom of an oiled, eight-inch square cake pan (I used my hands).

Spread the fig mixture evenly over the crust.

Smooth the remaining crust mixture over the filling.

Bake for about 30 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Allow to cool completely before cutting into bars.

Nutrition Facts (per bar): 145 calories, 1.4 g fat, 2.8 g fiber, 19.8 g sugar, 2.5 g protein

Sang my gettin’ figgy with it song the entire time I made and ate these this afternoon. Here’s how it went:

“Bring it. Whoo! On your mark ready let’s go, fig bar pro, I know you know, I go psycho when my newtons hit, just can’t sit, gota get figgy wit it (takes enormous bite) ooo that’s it!!!” (weird circular arm dance ensures…)




Your Vegan Girlfriend


10 thoughts on “Gettin’ Figgy Wit It … aka No Gluten Newtons

  1. Those are gorgeous! I wish I’d seen this last night before I made a disastrous mess trying to wing it with my own baked figs bars – yours look so amazing, and mine are a gummy fail!

  2. I’m pretty sure you’re my new best friend (food doesn’t count here! 🙂 ).. You crack me up with your posts and genius titles.. Not to mention that I can literally see you doing your “Figgy Wit It” dance, which is probably what I’ll be doing as soon as I make these (and your Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Marshmallow Stuffed Rice Crispy Treats with Chocolate Ganache- HOLY MOTHER OF THE FREAKING PEARL).. Keep ’em coming!

  3. Pingback: Peruvian Black Olive & Sun Dried Tomato Quinoa « Your Vegan Girlfriend

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